Islamic Dowry? Dower…
When you hear “Dowry,” what springs to mind?
Most people feel it’s not a good idea for a girl’s parents to go into debt to marry her.
But what if I say Islam commands it?
Strange or unfair? Read on…
Muslim dowry
In Islam, the girl should receive the dowry from the husband, unlike in other cultures. Dower is the Islamic dowry. It’s the husband’s wedding gift to his wife.
Dower’s evidence
Allah tells men:
Give women their dowries as a gift upon marriage. Qur’an
This Ayah commands Dower. Scholars agree on this command.
Other Quranic proofs include:
Give your wives their remuneration as a duty. Qur’an
The Dower is a wedding requirement; however, there is no evidence that it affects the legality of the marriage contract. Dower must be included in the marriage contract to avoid future issues and disagreements.
Who owns Dower?
It’s her right. It’s off-limits without her permission.
To establish that the girl’s parents can take it without permission, the marriage of Musa AS is used, in which the girl’s father offers his daughter to Musa AS and requests labor as payment.
The Dower is the girl’s reward from Allah.
Quran says:
“If you wish to swap wives and give one a Qintar, don’t take it back. Would you accept injustice and sin? How could you take it after you and your wives made a solemn covenant? Qur’an
The girl might keep or split her dowry with her parents or husband.
Quran says:
What if forced?
Only the girl can touch the Dower. This includes everyone, not just the husband.
Husbands owe Dower. Without the girl’s permission, removing the Dower is a sin.
Ibn Umar RA reported Rasul-Allah Muhammad said:
The preceding Hadith lists all short-term marriage causes. It includes weddings to get citizenship, a frequent practice in several regions worldwide.
The Dower should be given to the female as soon as the Nikaah is performed.
Prophet Muhammad would only question Sahaba RA what Dower they had at the time of marriage, not what they might promise for the future. He begged Ali RA for the same during Fatima RA’s wedding.
Some civilizations divide the Dower into two portions, one granted at Nikaah and the other at divorce or husband’s death.
Postponing Dower defeats its function.
When the dowry isn’t provided, what happens
If the Nikaah takes place without any defined Dower, the wife still has the claim to Dower. She can sue her spouse or go to Islamic authorities. The girl’s Wali should discuss and hand over the Dower at her wedding.
How may a girl spend her dowry?
This is fun!
Dower might be physical or immaterial.
Sahl bin Saad said a woman proposed to the Prophet. He said he didn’t need any more wives. A companion exclaimed, “O Allah’s Messenger! Marry her!” Do you have anything to give her? No! “Give her an iron ring,” said the Prophet. He was broke. Has he memorized any Quran? “I memorized such-and-such Surahs,” he said. The Prophet said, “Go.” I married her for the Quran you memorized.”
How would his memorizing help Dower? If the husband can teach his wife Quran, it will be easy for her.
Such was our Prophet’s insight. Amen!
I once heard about a woman who asked her husband for a list of Islamic novels as Dower. This made him so happy and will, In Sha Allah, strengthen their friendship and bless their marriage.
Sisters, ponder about your Dower In Sha Allah. Sometimes intangibles are more beneficial. Be creative with your Dower!
Mothers’ Dowries
While discussing the Dower, we can’t avoid mentioning the Prophet Muhammad’s household.
Prophet Muhammad gave all his wives that much Dower.
Umm Habibah RA’s husband died in Abyssinia. Najashi married her to Allah’s Messenger Muhammad and gave her 4,000 Dirhams as Dower on his behalf.
As Dower, Prophet Muhammad didn’t pay much to any wife. Prophet Muhammad never presented the Dower for more than 400 Dirhams.
Reasonable dowry requests.
A girl can ask for anything as dowry, but she must follow Deen-taught manners. Dowry should match the husband’s financial situation and not overwhelm him. Moderately questioning Dower is encouraged.
Remember these Ahadith:
“Don’t overdo the dowries. Had that been a sign of honor in this life or Taqwah before Allah, the Prophet would have been most deserving. Allah’s Messenger did not offer a dowry to his wives or daughters.
Let’s pray for change.
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Marriage is challenging owing to societal and cultural considerations.
Sometimes a son or daughter wants to marry too soon. Sometimes the son/daughter wants to do everything and settle down, making marriage an obstacle. In some societies, the girl is overwhelmed by societal standards, but in Dower, the guy is.
Society can only change one-on-one. When someone vows to promote beneficial change, they struggle and cleanse society. Let’s promise to ease our families’ marriages for Allah’s sake.
Parents, talk to your children; children, talk to your parents. Help one another.
Sort up the problems between the engaged families, and Allah will make marriages smooth. Follow Sunnah’s marriage!
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How to Keep Your Hajj Life Going After the Trip
As part of the Hajj pilgrimage, millions of Muslims are now in the holy cities of Saudi Arabia. For many people, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Hajj is a trip that lasts a lifetime but only takes a few days. It’s almost like living in a magical Muslim society where you always feel spiritually on top of the world. Everyone is friendly, and almost every day is spent worshipping Allah (SWT).
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But when the trip is over and everyone returns home, it’s easy to forget what you learned on Hajj and return to your everyday life.
But before we go back to our everyday lives, here are some tips to help us keep living the Hajj life even after the pilgrimage.
Think about what you’ve done
Thinking back is the best way to keep your Hajj life going after the trip. Write down or record parts of your experience if you can, and do your best to remember them.
If you forget how your life was during Hajj, you might forget all the important lessons you want to take with you back to your regular life.
Keep some of the Hajj rituals.
Hajj is hard, and it’s almost impossible to worship at the same pace when we have to take care of our real-life responsibilities.
But maybe there are some parts of Hajj that we can keep doing in our everyday lives.
We can:
After every Salah, read from the Quran, even if it’s just five verses.
Sit at the place where we did our fajr prayer until sunrise, then say two rakats of Salah al duha so we can get the reward of doing an umrah.
Get to the Masjid before the call to prayer.
Keep us from getting dry by reminding us of Allah.
We won’t be able to do things like tawaf and going between the mountains of Safa and Marwa because they are only done during Hajj and Umrah. However, we can still do all the other little things we do daily.
Keep pushing Satan away.
You don’t have to use the stones of Jamraah to get rid of Satan. Satan does his best to lead us astray in our everyday lives. But in the same way, we try to avoid his whispers during Hajj, and we should keep pushing him away in our everyday lives.
Whenever you feel like you’re about to do something wrong, run away from Satan and try to do something good instead.
Remember that a person whose Hajj is accepted is like a baby who has never done anything wrong. So we should make sure Satan doesn’t take advantage of this status.
Do Good Deeds for Stranger
One of the best parts of Hajj is getting help from people you don’t know. Everyone is happy to help strangers with food, tables, water, umbrellas, mats, and anything else they might need.
We can do this in our communities as part of our everyday lives. We might not have to give things away on the streets, but every kind of thing you do for someone else will help you keep up the spirit of Hajj.
And whoever helps make things easier in this world, Allah will make things easier for him in this world and the next.
Try to make yourself better.
Almost everyone is on their best behavior at Hajj, and there’s no better way to keep living the Hajj life than to keep being good.
If you kept your anger in when another pilgrim did something you didn’t like, try to keep it in when a coworker does something you don’t like. Practice all the good things you did at Hajj so that the way you lived at Hajj becomes your normal even after the trip is over.
The trip to Hajj signifies how much you depend on Allah (SWT). The pilgrim leaves behind everything he loves and goes on a trip that is different from his everyday life
Hajj is different from any other trip you may have taken. We set out to worship Allah (ta’ala) with as few resources as possible, along with millions of other people, in harsh conditions, hoping to get back to our families safely.
We should try to keep this kind of trust in our everyday lives. No matter what stage of life we are in, we should never forget that, just like Hajj, the success of that stage depends only on Allah’s (SWT) mercy.
The days of Hajj are some of the best days in Islam. As Muslims, everything we do during these few days should be something we do every day, Insha’Allah.
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